Back when I was in my early 20’s, I felt that the future (2020) would be a cataclysmic time. It turns out that astrologers have been foretelling it for 37 years, since the last time Saturn and Pluto conjoined.
I thought it’d be World War III, so it’s been a bit of a relief, as bad as it’s been. A pandemic has made it easier than war would have, to focus on what we’ve needed to learn in this time: empathy, concern for others and for the planet - the environment in all ways. We’ve been handed a huge difficulty on a worldwide scale in order to stop us, so we reassess our values and take a close look at how we’ve treated ourselves, each other, the Earth, and Spirit.
It’s been a year of sitting with the harshest facts: that we will die; andnow there’s a new way for it to be imminent; that others can affect whether we live or die; that we have almost killed the Earth. At each setback this year, we have needed to stop and turn inward, face and deconstruct the deepest patterns within ourselves and the culture that have held us in chronic pain, greed, fear, and unconsciousness.
For me, it’s been a year of finally stepping into my True Self. Lifetimes of trauma and subjugation had built such an encrusted view myself as toxic even while wanting to help others, of being vilified and attacked from all sides, kept me from being able to really show up. My memories of speaking up, especially about women’s ways of knowing Spirit, always ended in being killed.
I’d done all the psychological work of clearing the trauma from my childhood this time, but somehow I hadn’t been able to force my way out of the reinforced stance of being targeted. No matter how many clients I’d helped work through their stuff and blossom into their more realized selves, I unconsciously had the notion that, if I’d really done the work, I would my True Self and my ways of being would just happen.
But childhood trauma doesn’t fall away, nor does it go away just because you work hard to gain insight and release the pain and beliefs. Finally, there’s been enough neurological research to show that working through our issues and then constantly practicing new beliefs, new ways of seeing, new definitions and perceptions of self and the world are the only way to alter the neural pathways. Affirmations by themselves won’t do it. Constantly going over feelings from the past won’t either.
We felt stultified, and stymied for good reasons in 2020. It wasn’t in your mind. 2020 was not the time to move forward. We had to stop and assess our old, well-worn roads, as well as rethink our notions of the future. 2020 has been about is our truly learning to love ourselves, to build a solid foundation of safety and being settled in ourselves, no matter how hurricane-like our childhoods were or our present is.
What that has meant for me is finally moving beyond the fear that kept me hiding who I really am. Rather than fearing vilification and attack if I speak up, I finally have been able to step into my fullest, best Self.
What have you had to face squarely in yourself this year? If you have done it, even sometimes, give yourself credit. If you have done your work, be proud of yourself. The Universe has been watching, because the future of Earth depends on our changing how we live, how we relate to ourselves, each other, the planet, and with Spirit. 2020 has been the year for Light Workers of all sorts to clean and clarify down to your cores, so that your immense gifts can come forth and have maximal impact.
If you’ve had times of great grief, whether about events in the present or the past, about the earth, or the way we treat each other, or about how you were treated, please support yourself. There have been many times when we’ve been called on to be more present with emotions and to soften and slow down, rather than rushing past them. If you’ve been present with yours, you’ve been helping to build Light. The Energies are insisting that we honor our emotional processes without losing ourselves, by staying grounded and really being with the feelings and not getting washed away.
As the energies are starting to open, they are asking for us to be within our true natures. Soon you’ll start to feel ready to move forward, to show up in your clarified, authentic selves. 2021 will be tumultuous in the way all births are: all the fear, trepidation, struggle, excitement, joy. Struggle will be necessary. Intentional struggle builds new skills and pathways. Celebrate how you’re manifesting more clearly, as that will balance the hard work.
Let’s move forward in a grounded way, centered in our True, biggest Selves, and support Light, Love, and the sovereignty of all forms of being on this planet we call home.
Blessings in 2021!